Johnny’s World: Giggle

January 3, 2013 9:07 AM12 comments

weir-mugIt’s cold. Here I stand, in the midst of a winter rainstorm, proudly letting the raindrops trickle off my eyelashes. I stare straight ahead blankly, the kind of early morning blank everyone knows and dreads.

Although I’m at the beginning of another performance in front of millions of bleary-eyed early risers, there are very few brave enough to forge their way through the storm to see me skate in a puddle, live. One breath of pure steam exits my pursed lips as the first electronic notes of my music play loud and clear. My hair, for the first time in my life, is gray and teased and curled to the point it looks like a Halloween wig or your aunt’s dearest companion, her poodle. My dress is decidedly understated, all black for maximum skinniness as I blast across people’s TV screens from Philadelphia to Topeka, Des Moines to Orange County. Despite the understated color, I look like a streetwalker in designer leggings that give the illusion of garters. My favorite pop diva’s voice comes blaring over the loudspeakers and I’m off, ice skating for millions.

The performance was flawless. The two inches of rain I struggled to skate through ended up being the ultimate prop as I slid on bended knee through it and it created a wave, much like Moses. I also somehow managed to flash my thong in no less than three moments throughout my two-minute-30-second performance. I was so proud of another successful appearance on the Today Show, performing to Christina Aguilera in a fabulous costume by a young Korean-American designer, Sena Yang, and bringing my own special brand of pizzazz to America.

Nearly ten whole minutes had passed before the first copy of the performance appeared in my Twitter feed and my husband pulled it up so I could watch it. Even a small performance takes weeks of preparation. I had to edit the music to be short enough for NBC’s strict time intervals, I had to work out the costume with my new, larger holiday waistline, I had to train this brand new program on the ice and re-choreograph bits and pieces along the way. All of that prep makes it very exciting to deliver a final result and to actually see the proof that your moment had happened. I thought of all this as I tucked into the YouTube video lovingly posted by one of my fans.

I looked insane. Edward Scissorhands meets Julia Roberts from Pretty Woman meets transvestite chic meets orphaned wet baby kitten. I was very proud of the performance and my overall presentation, it was honest if nothing else. I had achieved everything I wanted from this particular show. I looked good, skated well and spoke intelligently in my interview. Job well done.

At the end of the video however, all I could do was laugh at myself. I had quite a chuckle when my thong flashed America the third time before 9 a.m. I laughed like a toddler when I parted the sea of Rockefeller Center ice rink, with my head in the slide of the decade. I got to thinking about the value of being able to laugh at one’s self.

In life we are constantly tested and forced into performance mode. It could be on a job interview, a third date or even pumping yourself up to go to da club on a Saturday night. When you’re thrown into these situations the wildest statements come flying out of your mouth or you look at an old photo and think, “Why did I think it was cool to look like the World’s largest Q-Tip?” I believe that the strongest people with the most success coming to them are the ones who can laugh at all the silly blunders or foot in mouth moments.

Life can be embarrassing, even when you’ve prepared for one moment for years and in that moment your pants split or like Vivian in “Pretty Woman,” the escargot goes flying out of the cracking device into the palm of a nearby waiter.

Laughter makes the world brighter. Never be afraid to start by laughing at yourself and owning every little flaw or silly moment that makes you, you.

 

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  • Guest

    As someone who has fallen on her ass twice

  • http://twitter.com/DauphineDW Debbie

    As someone who has fallen on her ass twice waiting to watch you perform, and having the time of my life doing so,,,I get this post completely! And I rather liked your Q-Tip look :)

  • http://twitter.com/ac_bitter AB

    My favorite part was when you did your slide and laughed when you saw the walls of water on either side of you. It made a great performance even better.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jenn.kittler Jenn Kittler

    I was one of the few, the brave, the very wet. I admit there were several moments on that pre-dawn, rainy Turnpike when I questioned my life choices, but it was so very worth the trip. You were electric, so completely in the moment. There are no words to describe how mind-blowing that 2+ minutes were. My favorite part is the way you throw your head back & laugh as you prepare to slide into the icy water. That performance is pure joy, and I’m so happy I managed to DVR it for whenever I need a little joy in my life.

  • http://twitter.com/misfitmimes Binky/Misfit Mimes

    Love this. Every week I read your entry and I think,”This one’s his best yet.” Today’s is definitely my new favorite. Wonderful advice, and I loved your brilliant performance on the Today Show–mesmerizing, and a perfect wake-up call at that hour, thong flashes and all.

  • http://www.facebook.com/moriko.nishiurabetz Moriko Nishiura Betz

    If I hadn’t watched the performance, you just put it delicately in my mind….I love the Q-Tip look, I wish it was you who parted the waters!

  • geaneb3

    The skate was awesome, your hair looked great, and you have the ability to convey the love and joy of what you do so well.

  • Laura_85

    Superb writing. If you aren’t able to laugh at yourself, you only get wrinkles and other nasty things.;)

  • http://www.facebook.com/schismatic.beam Schismatic Beam

    It was a wonderful, memorable, flawless performance. The music, choreography, costuming and skating were perfectly in synch. All the comments I saw were positive. (Even after three viewings, I did not notice the exposure of a noncostume detail until you later mentioned it.) At Rockefeller Center, you skated before a sculpture of Prometheus, who supposedly stole and brought fire to mankind against the wishes of the Gods. You bring glitter and artistic fire to ice skating and to millions of viewers across America, so this rink and venue are very appropriate. Thank you, Johnny Weir and NBC’s Today Show!

  • http://www.facebook.com/schismatic.beam Schismatic Beam

    Your head creating a wake in the puddly rink was a really neat, unique, dramatic visual effect. It was not funny looking at all. About as neat as the time your hair got covered in snow and made a really neat, “glittery” aura photo when you were shaking the snow off. Just hoped the Today Show staff had warm towels and a hair dryer at the ready to help you dry off afterward.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mary.dzyacky Mimi Dzyacky

    Your performance was so you! Reading your articles is like having a conversation with you! Love that about your writing!

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  • Susen

    It was the best slide ever!

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