Monumental strides made last week in the Supreme Court towards equality for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender community marked a moment for happiness, joy, and debate. When the Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act, they made millions happy and moved our community one step closer to full national equality. We still have many bridges to cross and people to defeat on our journey, but with every small victory comes pure joy and appreciation for America’s level of human rights awareness. Yes it has taken, and will take, too long, but it seems the final frontier of widespread discrimination is nearing.
Despite all the goodness, there are many things that leave burning questions in people’s minds. Opinions run rampant as the country tries to wrap its head around every new ruling. Debates rage around the world, considering the pros and cons of our newly minted status as almost equals, and something always seems to come up that is upsetting. While I encourage every citizen of the globe to have their own opinion and voice it freely, at times I find myself rolling my eyes, even from messages of support.
In every debate I’ve heard or read, whether it be on NBC, BBC or Russia 1, I am struck by the quickness with which the debate goes from the joyous beauty that the LGBT community can legally love for the rest of their lives, to children and being raised in a gay household. These acts that seem to be constantly moving in our favor aren’t about the children … yet. They are about the freedom to marry and legally behave as a married couple. While children may be a side effect of these unions as many people hope to expand their families, the bills and acts are simply about equality, not the ability of two men or two women to raise a child.
I find that in many cases, people who aren’t affected by our community in any way think about our future children (and anal sex), much more than they think about our equal rights. Is it right or wrong that gays can have babies? It very much seems a situation of cart before horse. It’s the same for straight couples. I liken it to when mothers ask their soon-to-be-wed daughters, “When can I expect grandbabies?” The automatic response seems to be, “God mom, just let me get married first!” While every state still does not recognize gay marriage, I, as a gay man, am much more focused on being treated equally throughout our 50 states than when I will start a nesting period. Skipping over the little detail that we are still discriminated against makes it much easier for people to debate our ability to raise extremely well accessorized children.
While the community does have massive support from around the country and the globe even, we still fight every day to be treated equally by those who don’t understand us or even despise us. There are idiots everywhere and there are also uneducated well wishers and supporters who do what they do from a place of love. I for one am not a political man; my news comes from an hour a day of BBC, Twitter or spam ads on my e-mail server. I can’t say that I am more or less knowledgeable than anyone and that this little opinion column isn’t full of errors, but I feel that no error can come from a place of emotion and love.