My New Joy: The Holy See Making Social Conservatives Scream ‘Holy S**t’

November 13, 2013 10:54 AM15 comments

One of my daily joys is watching ultra-conservative Catholics squirm ever since Pope Francis was handed the keys to the Vatican. The cool new Pope has renounced the extravagance of his predecessor, Pope Evil XVI, he has tried to uplift the poor, and rein in the comfortable and corrupt hierarchy in Rome. Further infuriating mega-Catholics, is Pope Francis’ relatively kind remarks on LGBT people, as well as his warning to zealots within his church not to obsess on social issues.

Now that Pope Francis is in office, he will have to battle the Frankenstein monster created by his predecessors, who elevated fighting abortion and gay people to central tenets of the faith. As the pontiff seems to understand, this was always the callous, lazy man’s version of Catholicism, because it’s much easier to bash the homos than help the homeless, or scream “baby killer” than lift wages so that families can afford to raise children.

On some level, the Pope seems to “get” that one of the great cons of our age is modern social conservatism. It was created in violent reaction to various civil rights movements and refined into a slick product by hucksters and talk show hosts. Cleverly billed as a defense of Christianity, it was really a scheme cooked up to manipulate the veneer of religion to justify unholy passions. This divisive ploy was cunningly financed by Big Business and their Republican political arm, who exploited an opportunity to recruit rubes, under the rubric of “family values,” to vote against their own economic interests.

Social conservatives had gained enormous traction with the previous pope, by presenting their worldview as naturally cohesive with Catholicism. Indeed, Princeton scold Robert George regularly invokes the sham of “natural law” to make his wobbly case. Thankfully, Pope Francis appears to comprehend that Americanized social conservatism is not in cohesion, but is in competition with real Roman Catholicism.

This, of course, is a difficult wafer to swallow for his church’s fanatics, who went from praised to pilloried virtually overnight. Their plight was covered by reporter Laurie Goodstein in aSunday New York Times article, “Conservative U.S. Catholics Feel Left Out of the Pope’s Embrace.”

For the remainder of this article, I’ll print excerpts and translate what the “faithful” are really saying:

NYT: When Pope Francis was elected in March, Bridget Kurt received a small prayer card with his picture at her church and put it up on her refrigerator at home….But Ms. Kurt recently took the Pope Francis prayer card down and threw it away.

“My neighbors and co-workers whisper behind my back that I think I’m more Catholic than the Pope. What they don’t understand, is that I really am more Catholic than the Pope.” 

NYT: Steve Skojek, a blogger who has written for several conservative Catholic websites, wrote of Francis’ statements: “Are they explicitly heretical? No. Are they dangerously close? Absolutely.”

“Liberals who pick and choose doctrines based on personal tastes are ‘Cafeteria Catholic.’ However, a conservative who picks and chooses which Pope to follow based on personal tastes is a good Catholic.” 

NYT: Mr. Skojec had come to suspect that Francis is a “self-styled revolutionary” who wants to change the church fundamentally: “There have been bad popes in the history of the church. Popes that murdered, popes that had mistresses. I’m not saying Pope Francis is terrible, but there’s no divine protection that keeps him from being the type of guy who subtlety undermines the teachings of the church …”

“I would never publicly describe Pope Francis as a terrible, lest he repossess my Catholic card. But, would anybody be surprised if he were a communist serial killer into autoerotic asphyxiation, who probably screwed an Argentinean goat?” 

NYT: They believe that he is saying things in ways that the news media and the church’s “enemies” are able to distort, and that there are consequences.

“This damn Pope is gumming up the Vatican public relations machine. He needs to stamp out all the positive press he’s been getting, so Rome can return to the good old days of defending pedophile priests and cooking up conspiracy theories of a gay clerical mafia that secretly meets in the Sistine Chapel at midnight when the moon is full.” 

NYT: Matt C. Abbott, a Catholic columnist in Chicago with Renew America said, “I wish that he could have chosen some different words, expressed himself in a different way that wouldn’t have been so easily taken out of context.”

“Thank God the Pope was somewhat ambiguous. I’m not sure what I’d do if he explicitly said my agenda was a festering boil on the buttocks of the Catholic Church.” 

Don’t you just love how social conservatives scream “holy sh**” these days when they hear from the Holy See?

 


Wayne Besen is a columnist and author of the book “Anything But Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth.”

  • Matthew Yates

    Yes lets not focus on saving souls of those in mortal sin, sodomy is a mortal sin, praying to other Gods a mortal sin, supporting lucifers attack against the Blessed Virgin Mary in abortion clinics is a mortal sin. This article is nothing short of a crucifixion of Christ Mystical Body on Earth. Your Pope denies Christ Salvation on the Cross.

  • bosco49

    First define your understanding of ‘ultra-conservative’ Catholic and ‘mega-Catholic’ before launching into your peculiar stream-of-consciousness take on Catholicism and the papacy.
    Absent such distinctions, the hapless reader is served up with nothing more than a rhetorical Rohrschach test of the author’s invention.

  • schmenz

    Mr Besen’s article is a sustained exercise in extreme tiresomeness.

  • Alphonsus_Jr

    Fools. You should be applauding this post, encouraging Besen and all those in league with him. Examples of unrestrained idiocy and ignorance like this from Besen can be most useful.

  • michael mchale

    Is this the “lazy man’s version” of journalism? Memo to Mr. Besen, “conservative “, i.e. traditional, Catholics do not view Popes John XXIII though Benedict XVI as either. Notwithstanding, to claim that “big business and the Republican party” financed this non-existent shift to the “right” is beyond delusional. The Church has always taught, DE FIDE, that abortion and sodomy are intrinsically evil. Though there certainly has been a “shift” {from a theological perspective} in the Church over the last fifty years, its arch was, contrary to Besen’s assertion, decidedly to the left in the wake of the disastrous Second Vatican Council {1962-65}. Perhaps the author should do just a little homework prior to putting finger to keyboard. On the other hand, why let a little thing like facts get in the way of a good screed.

  • http://standrewsnews.org/ ConfederateCatholic .

    Taking the CATHOLIC out of the Catholic Church.
    God help us all.

  • Ethan Clarke

    Wayne Besen is the one who is full of S**T:… Francis together with the precepts of The Second Vatican Council has turned Christianity inside-out. Today, Rome [and the pope] is Catholic in name only. At best they are Protestant…But more precisely…they
    have become products of a Masonic-Marxist-Modernist church leading the world
    into the One World Religion of the New World Order. These concepts vehemently
    condemned by St. Pius X are today the poison of modern man. Today the Pope
    leads the world toward convergence and not conversion calling all religions
    equal before God. THIS IS EGREGIOUS ERROR-!!!

  • D J

    This is a typically foolish anti-Catholic column. Regardless if the author is himself ‘catholic’ or not.

  • lucidmimi

    Blasphemous and foul instrument of evil, you presume to lecture the faithful on what constitutes authentic Catholicism? Think again. You are full of deceit….just like your father.

  • Rachel Rudd

    Wayne Besen: proof that campaigning (adjective is important) Lefties are screaming, selfish, snide little bigots. This is clearly a man who needs abortion legal so he can enjoy as much consequence-free sex as he wants and must support homosexuality as it commits the same error as anti-conception heterosexual sex OR the reverse. Either way, he insists that the State exist to serve his personal passions while ‘breeders’ (as he undoubtedly calls us) pick up the tab by working hard and being open to life.

    While I have been screamed at by his ilk in my years of sidewalk counselling, I’ve yet to hear any of my fellow pro-lifers scream ‘baby-killer’. I’m sure some do, but the ratio of pro-life venom to pro-abortion venom is extrememly lopsided (see the silence of the media about the reaction to March for Life in San Francisco, then dig deeper).

    His prejudicial statements about the ‘veneer’ of social conservatism are likely the most ridiculous part of this tripe. Most conservatives I know give ‘progressives’ the credit of being genuine, but confused, (famous ones do as well, see Churchill), but Besen apparently can read minds and hearts. That must be why he doesn’t need God. He thinks he is God.

  • Dick Prudlo

    A pathetic prig who deserves less than a sentence response.

  • ranger01

    Keep screaming. The Church and its Savior will be here long after you are gone, little man.

  • Richard Wilson

    This is not an advertisement because I have a large free section. In 2010 I copy righted a book that predicted this pope. I wrote about a South American Pope that hates the pomp and riches of the Vatican and went on to turn the church on its collective ears. His way to office was by working with the poor. Once elected pope he chose a n original name. Go to Amazon Kindle and read “All by God’s Design” I also predicted an island popping out of the Indian Ocean after an earthquake which happened two months ago. My book uses the NSA listening in on phone conversations as a part of the plot. Even little details like this pope using a different wafer during the mass was predicted. I think my story is what God wants to be told.

  • Walther380

    Wow, the stupid runs strong with this one! Such hatred, so sad.

  • Ethan Clarke

    Francis together with the precepts of The Second
    Vatican Council has turned Christianity inside-out. Today, Rome [and the pope]
    is Catholic in name only. At best they are Protestant…But more precisely…they
    have become products of a Masonic-Marxist-Modernist church leading the world
    into the One World Religion of the New World Order. These concepts vehemently
    condemned by St. Pius X are today the poison of modern man. Today the Pope
    leads the world toward convergence and not conversion calling all religions
    equal before God. THIS IS EGREGIOUS ERROR-!!!

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