The heat. The dog days of summer. The endless staycation. The Weed feels your pain people. Tell you what, let us dip into TLC Weed Mailbag and pleasure ourselves with the pain of others.

The heat. The dog days of summer. The endless staycation. The Weed feels your pain people. Tell you what, let us dip into TLC Weed Mailbag and pleasure ourselves with the pain of others.

Dear TLC Weed – It is all about My Man and Me and people are jealous. My Man and Me decided to get elected together … and we did. My Man told Me he wanted to pay all of our campaign expenses … and he did. My Man told Me he had all of our campaign ideas … and he did. My Man told me he would always speak for Me in public … and he does. My Man said he would always tell Me how to vote … and he does. Except for the stupid meetings about poor people that make me miss my shows, I have never been happier. Do you think they will ever make an American Girl doll about me? Hugs and kisses, Minnie Me.

Dear Minnie – Oh god. They just might.

Dear TLC Weed – I have a problem employee who works for me who needs to be fired. I did not agree to hire him, I have consistently given him bad job reviews, shared his personnel file with people, tried to stop him from getting pay increases, criticized him in public meetings, micromanaged his work, and recently wrote a column in the company newspaper that described his mistakes and promised to perform a public top to bottom performance review of his work. What else can I do? Very, very seriously, Gray Suit Boss Man.

Dear Gray Suit – You seem like a charmer of a boss. Bullying and public humiliation of employees has become such a lost art, what with all the fancy new management theory, human resources issues, and unions taking all the fun out of being a suit. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to destroy the professional reputation of this particular employee; but remember, the hard part about being a jerk boss is convincing the next person who wants the job that your past performance is not a predictor of your character. Because everybody, you included, has a boss.

Dear TLC Weed – I am a proud to be a hard working public servant, local elected official, community activist, and beer enthusiast. There is a new micro-brewery in town which I have welcomed with open arms. I have helped them with administrative tasks, spread the word about their great business, spent money at the place, brought friends and family to visit … basically everything I can think of to show my love. Recently I learned the brewery made a special brew and named it after someone else. I know it sounds wrong, but I am crushed and cannot help but feel rejected. Why do I not have a beer named after me, after all I have done? – Tom Would Like A Table Ale

Dear Tom –  I hear you buddy. From your lips to the beer god ears.

Michael Gardner is a quixotic citizen and founder of the Blueweeds community blog.