Johnny’s World: Taking a Stand

December 6, 2012 9:08 AM12 comments

At a recent holiday party something unfortunate happened. I was introduced to, and later inadvertently reprimanded by the crunchiest, earth and creature loving, “I barely shower because I conserve water” kind of woman, ever. The party was of mainly Russian decent with their furs, beautifully prepared meat dishes and love of a good time and there was one sore thumb in the whole place, this woman.

She wouldn’t eat anything that our gracious host had prepared when there were plenty of vegan options available. She wouldn’t even accept a cashmere wrap from the host’s husband because it had been in close proximity to a ‘shuba’ (a fur coat). I couldn’t take the annoying soap boxing anymore so I took the reigns and started to clean up the party. The host family isn’t a separate trash receptacle for recycling sort of family, so I simply started throwing everything into the bin with little thought. It came down to the wire, I’d finished clearing and topped off my glass of wine from the bottle I’d been nursing all day only to throw the bottle into the trash and rejoin the party.

From across the bar I hear the mousy voice of the vegan, soapless, missionary reprimanding her boyfriend, a good friend of mine, about needing to yell at me and teach me the value of recycling even when in someone else’s home. Not a confrontational person himself, my friend promised to talk to me in a quiet place about the offending bottle. The woman, who is my age, then loudly opens the bin, and announces to the entire party how angry it makes her when people don’t recycle and how she will recycle the bottle herself and then she proceeded to head-dive into the trash bin and fish out the offending bottle now covered in cranberry sauce, cream and turkey gizzard.

This whole episode got me thinking, is there really a point in being miserable because of the shortcomings of other people in respect to your beliefs or causes? More importantly, am I an uneducated, heartless monster if I don’t care about the conservation of one wine bottle?

Causes are what make the world better. I for one am constantly impressed with the drive and determination patriots have when they are fighting for just about anything under the sun. The vigor and intensity can only be admired and you can try to learn from what these people preach. I drive a large, polluting SUV to cart around usually one skinny person and a big purse which I have been thinking of downsizing, so I carry reusable shopping bags, buy local and try to walk as often as possible to try to right the “wrongs” of my choices, even in a small way.

That’s the thing about a cause and taking a stand, you have to decide if not actually, personally curing AIDS is enough for you. Whenever I am fighting for a cause or trying to help someone or something in need, I think that if I can change even one opinion or help one person understand what I’m fighting for, then it’s a victory. One person can’t change the world. It doesn’t matter if you’re the biggest star on the planet or the president of the most powerful nation in the world, you can’t fix everything, however, one person can make a difference and they can start a revolution.

I will be forced to see this girl in the future, and I’m sure even wearing my fanciest Birkenstocks won’t save me from getting the stink eye. What’s unfortunate about her quest and the way she went about educating me is she made me want to litter more than clean up litter just to spite her.

Fighting for a better world is one thing and being a militant, crazy person who has nothing better to do than harass and belittle others to make a point is quite another. People are different, and it should be respected, not attacked. Not for nothing, you catch more flies with honey.




  • The disrespect she had for her hosts is appalling enough…but then to self-righteously attempt to ‘educate’ (humiliate) another guest? She’s some piece of work. It’s unfortunate that during her own journey to educate herself on the virtues of responsible stewardship of the Earth she didn’t take any elective courses on common courtesy and manners. I agree…cheers to honey.

  • Disrespectful to the hosts, disrespectful to the other guests. Does she have any manners at all? Was she raised by drunken pirates?
    I’m sorry for your friend, although I can’t help but questioning his taste in girlfriends.

  • I say this out of sisterly love, self-respect and a caring for your person, your social education and your own self-respect: I beg your pardon, Johnny but was this done inside YOUR home? Were you the “host”, “hostess” or the “lady of the house” at this event? Did you even give the “lady of the house” a chance to intervene and correct the situation; as she should have done and as she is expected to do and has the sole right and privilege to do? Regarding your statement: “….she made me want to litter more than clean up litter just to spite her.” …..she MADE you? What? Johnny, in all due respect, are you an adult? Did you have to aggravate the situation by pouring more fuel onto the fire? No, you did not. You CHOSE to pour more fuel onto the fire, and you did so in someone else’s home. It was not your place, it was not your home, it was not your party. You did this just to SPITE her? In someone else’s home? Why are you and how did you become so vindictive… ugly? I think before you move to correct someone else from now on, you really should first and foremost clean up your own mess and clean up your own act. What she did was not right at all, but who are you and I to judge? Maybe she had too much Russian vodka, but you certainly had no right to intervene on the lady of the house’s behalf unless you were requested to do so. The rightful second in command would be her husband or spouse…..given that it’s THEIR PROPERTY, not yours. It was clearly not your place to take a stand. Off property….say and do whatever the hell you please. On their property, hell no…..unless you are requested to do something or unless you see bloodshed. Bad form, Johnny. Bad form.

  • If I may suggest for the sake of future reference: Better yet, try something that would bring respect and reverence and difference back to the lady of the house…, “That was one of the best meals I’ve enjoyed in a long time, Mrs. so-and-so. Thank you so much for inviting me/us. But I’m so full…..(go for something humorous here)….anybody got a dog I can walk?!?” ….and then proceed to actually take a dog, any dog, out for a walk around a block or two or three while you and whoever joins you cool your jets. This will clear the atmosphere inside the house and allow the lady of the house to take the woman aside and try to resolve the issue, diplomatically….as only we women can do. Another suggestion while again focusing respect, reverence and difference to the lady of the house (or host and hostess)…..say something like, “Thank you so much for inviting us, Mrs. So-and-so.” (or by first name, if you are known to each other on that basis) “It is a custom in my Family to show appreciation to the lady of the house by assisting her in the kitchen. May I?” if she says, “Yes.”, then return with a thank you and proceed to the kitchen. Don’t be surprise if others join you. This is fine, in that it will give the lady of the house a chance to correct things in a diplomatic fashion. I hope I’ve been of some help in this resolve. You’re a World Class Champion, Johnny. I only ask that you please try to remember this and keep this in mind….thank you xo.

  • I don’t think you did anything wrong Johnny, you did not confront this woman, you removed yourself from the situation and, being a considerate guest you cleaned up (something you did not have to do – you could had just sat and socialized and left the cleaning to the host). Obviously something was bothering this woman and hopefully the next time you see her, she will not attempt to inflict her personal beliefs on others. I recycle but I would not go as far as digging through someone’s garbage.

  • Johnny this is a great article! I think we have all been “there” when it comes to this type of person and your loyalty to your host/hostess is admirable.

  • Hmmm I’m noticing a very uneducated and biased trend here as per usual and expected, Ad nauseam. Ok, betches! Don’t you DARE correct the perfect, the D-I-V-A, Johnny Weir!

  • That is all. Thank you. *bow, fade to black, and scene*

  • Oh John Deere: Is your asshole really big enough to fit four noses in? Inquiring minds wanna know. *see Boehner’s Last Stand*

  • When you follow proper etiquette and protocol in social situations, there is no need for anyone to mind their manners because they’re already in play. I see from some of the posts here that good, old-fashioned social graces are a thing of the past? Sad.

  • If she wants to make the world a better place, she should practice kindness. A cranky, persnickety guest is toxic. She should have graciously contacted the hosts ahead of time so they were prepared for her needs. I probably would have the urge to litter and eat meat off the bone with my fingers in front of her if I were treated as you were by the person. Nonetheless, people like her are toxic enough without aggravating them further, it is better to just take deep breaths and ignore her.

  • She is very rude, narcissistic and quite possibly has a personality disorder. Ignore her and forget trying to reason with this type of person

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